Let’s Talk About Sex
Women have been talking to each other about sex for ages – long before we met Carrie Bradshaw and her pals. But our society has a long-standing disconnect about sex, particularly for women over 40. We romanticize the adventure of early womanhood, when the feeling of sexual vitality is simply there, before career and family take center stage.
Then, as the story goes, those days give way to practical, survival-oriented concerns. You get busy with your career, you get married, you focus on buying a house and making it a home. You’re perpetually short on time, drained of energy; as a result you become less active, perhaps putting on a few pounds, then a few more. Your romantic life succumbs to habit; sex is less frequent, more routine. Meanwhile, you start developing a repertoire of stress-related symptoms such as stomach pains, back pain, or insomnia.
Before you know it, you can’t get going without your coffee, you can’t fall asleep without a glass of wine, can’t climb to the top of that little hill to watch the sunset. This is how you start to drift out of your body.
Meanwhile, life marches on. Eventually, kids arrive, you hit problems in your marriage, you worry about your aging parents. Maybe you find yourself, as I did, dealing with a physically or mentally ill family member. Suddenly, you’re a full-service caretaker.
And what happens? That free, playful spirit – that creative sexual energy that used to dance and sing through your arms, your legs, your hips, your breasts, your smile – begins to fade. Instead of finding expression through your body, it’s trapped there and forgotten.
It’s springtime. As the days grow longer, the birds start chirping, and the promise of summertime fun in the sun lies just around the corner, there’s no doubt about it: Love is in the air. So why not make this spring the season of your sensual awakening? Isn’t it high time you found a way to regain that spark, that energy, that sense of aliveness?
The answer isn’t found in the form of a pill, an exotic aphrodisiac, or anything that requires batteries. The answer lies within our own bodies – and, more specifically, how we move them.
Fluidity & Flexibility
If you’ve been following my work at all, by now you’ve gotten the point that strength training and cardiovascular exercise are two cornerstones of healthy living. But there’s another slice to the pie, and that slice incorporates fluidity, flexibility and sensuality. I call it Flex Appeal.
A healthy body is a fluid boy, inside and out. Feeling sensual means feeling alive, and feeling alive means a freely circulating flow of movement and energy and fluids in the body. From the synovial fluid that lubricates our joints, to our spinal fluid, to the water passing through our system and cleansing it of waste products, to lymph fluid and blood – anything that promotes circulation, promotes life. As we age, stiffness creeps in. With over 230 movable and semimovable joints in our bodies, we have tremendous fluid potential – potential we can reclaim with a few simple steps.
When I talk about “flexibility,” that includes stretching and yoga, of course. But when it comes to reclaiming our sensuality, conventional stretching isn’t enough. Graceful, full-range movement – the kind that treats our bodies like the versatile tools they are – is the order of the day. That’s why it’s important to combine yoga with sensual movement patterns.
Yoga is concerned with improving the limberness of the body, as we all know. But from a sensual standpoint, yoga is also unique. I remember my first experiences years ago with a breathing technique called “Breath of Fire.” After a few minutes, I’d experience a sense of relaxation, openness, and pleasure. Physically, I felt looser, disentangled, calm. Then, in the calmness, I felt a wave of sensuality.
Something almost magical happens when we apply sensual movement patterns to yoga poses. While traditional yoga is, among other things, a great form of exercise, a world of sensations opens up when you go beyond the frozen poses and experience how it feels to massage them, so to speak, with movement. When you move your body in new ways, it changes your sense of self. When you do kickboxing, you feel powerful. When you weight train, you feel strong and solid. When you go running in the hills, you feel exhilarated and free. And when you explore sensual movement, you start to feel more sensual.
Ready to tone, strengthen and explore your body’s fluid potential? These quick and effective exercises will help you develop more mobility and graceful movement…The first step to unlocking your body’s Flex Appeal.